Going against the grain

This is my first blog. Not sure how it will turn out. But here goes.... :o)

I am a mother to 7 children. Ages range from 14 (soon to be 15) to 9 mths (soon to be 10mths). I have 3 girls and 4 boys.

I have nursed all except my first. I am a very firm believer in breast being best. BUT, I am also a firm beleiver in doing what you need to do for the good of all involved. And yes, that means if you formula feed it is not the most horrific thing that you could ever do.

I formula fed my oldest. I wanted to breastfeed. But there was no support system in place to help me reach that goal. And I was not aware of all of the resources out there to help me (LLL for instance). So, after 2 wks of trying and a pediatrician who was not pro-breastfeeding, I put him on formula. No biggie.

Then comes baby #2. With her, I was determined to BF. No one and nothing was going to stop me! I had read up on it and also had a friend now who knew about it and was very supportive. So I successfully nursed her to a year old.

At that point in time I was very much a BF advocate. But never ever thought ill of a mother who formula fed (remember my oldest was FF). I started noticing that there was such division in the mothering world on this. And eventually I started to take sides....without even realizing it!!!!

I began to think (but never voiced) "There is ALWAYS a way to bf. There are no excuses as to why someone can't!" I am so ashamed that I ever thought that way.

Over time, there was never a question as to if I would BF or FF. BF hands down. No bottles, no nothing. Just me and baby. I weened only 1 early...and I didn't ween them, they did it themself. She was about 9 or 10 mths at that point.

I eventually had twins. One boy and one girl. I was DETERMINED to bf them. Let me tell you, the first few days after giving birth to twins is HARD. And harder when you are trying to bf them both!!

My little boy was a champ, latched on perfectly and jsut ate and ate. My daughter however was another story. Her latch was terrible. She was a lazy nurser, jsut kinda hung out there until she decided to take a few sucks then rest. Now, my boy developed jaundice. No biggie....I had successfully nursed through it before, no reason why I can't now. NO excuses, remember??

When a baby is jaundiced, they are very sleepy. Hard to get them to eat, though that is the main way to help them through the jaundice...the more they eat and poop the better.

So, now I have a sleepy jaundiced boy and a lazy nurser of a girl. She would literally wait until her brother brought the let down then eat. Well, he needed to eat above and beyond anything but was so tired (due to the jaundice) that it was just not happening. I can clearly remember it being 3 am and me tryin yet again to nurse and crying hysterically because my daughter wouldn't latch on, my son wouldn't wake up to nurse and my body was so tired and hurting. The Hunny (God love him) went to Walgreen's and bought a can of (GASP) formula. Came home and the babies both took it with no problems. I felt relief and sorrow all at the same time.

I figured I jsut couldn't feed 2 babies at once. The hormones after giving birth to twins didn't help either. I cried everytime I gave them a bottle.

After about 3 wks or so, I was sitting on the couch with a cup of coffee in my hand. And I heard clearly, "go nurse." I know that was God's prompting, but I said, "if Miriam does not latch on, I am not even trying!" I didn't even think I still had milk. I go into the room and she latched right on!! So I grabbed her brother and sure enough he did too. They nursed exclusively until they were a year old. And, oh my gosh....no side effects like 3 heads, or extra limbs or anything from using formula!!!

Again I got back to the thinking that since *I* did it, anyone can do it. You jsut have to be determined.

Now, we are at baby #7. I have nursed 5 prior children over a 10 yr span. I am not as young as I was in the beginning of all of this.

Took my Bug for his 4mth ch up. He was 17.2 lbs. Due to some issues with insurance, I had to wait until his 9 mth ch up to take him in again. During that 5 mth period, I was under the impression that he was doing great. He was happy, alert, and chubby. At 6mths he started solid food. LOVED it. LOL He seemed to be thinning a little bit, but he was growing in length, so that is what I attributed it to.

Over the last say 3 wks, he began getting so rough when he would nurse. OMGosh!! HORRIBLE. I cried at night. He wanted to be on me CONSTANTLY. He was a cranky little guy. I thought jsut teething. He was attached to me constantly, I thought growth spurt coupled with being a momma's boy. He looked chubby still, but when you went to pick him up, he was light. Weird.

Well, he got sooooo aggressive, I had no choice. I had to ween to a bottle, and I would pump. Did that....excruciating 3 day ordeal. Finally he took the bottle. And seemed content. But then I noticed that my milk production was not up to his eating standards, even with taking almost every herb imaginable and friends praying fervently. So, I had to start supplementing with formula.

During this process that started 2 wks ago, I took him in for his 9mth ch up. They weighed him....he was 18.8 lbs. WHAT!!? Only 1.6 lbs in FIVE months??? His dr didn't see a problem. SHe said they kind of taper off at a certain time. He got a praise worthy check up and we went on our way.

The weight still didn't sit right with me. So I made a weight check appt for a week after his 9mth check up. During that time, it became evident that my milk would not keep up with him, so the decision to ween altogether came about (with a big help from the Lord.....another story).

I took him in for that weight check.....lo and behold in ONE WEEK'S time, he gained 9 ounces. That is almost half of what he gained in FIVE MONTHS.

I have come to few conclusions through this journey:

* Listen when God speaks.
*Yes, breast is best....but not the ONLY.
*There is no ONE way to go about anything. No matter what the majority says.
*Research and others' experiences are wonderful, but only you know what will be the best for you and your family.
*Be careful of an "all or nothing" mentality. Sometimes change is needed and can be welcomed.

Sometimes you just have to go against the grain for the good of your own family.

Thank you for taking the time to read......

Blessings,
Becks